This Year's New Red Flag for Dating

Okay, for years I'd been advocating for therapy, but last year it really, really became apparent that this totally had to be added to the list of RED FLAGS when dating someone.

When people come to therapy to address issues relating to dating, relationships, and marriages — especially for those that didn't work out — it's important to look back and analyze what went wrong and what yellow and red flags we missed.

The crazy part is that most people don't bother to sit back and look at what went wrong, and what they did wrong and could have done differently. They break up, they find someone else, and they rinse and repeat hoping they'll find someone who will tolerate them. This is called baggage.

The Newest Red Flag

So here it goes — This Year's Newest Red Flag addition:

SOMEONE WHO HAS NEVER SOUGHT THERAPY IN THEIR ADULT LIFE.

Yes, I know for some, this might seem like a bold statement. But consider a few comparisons:

If you met someone who told you they'd never seen a dentist because "that's only for people with really messed up teeth" — how would you feel about that person?

Or what if you met a person who'd never seen a doctor, not even for a check-up, because "doctors are for people who are dying" — how would you view this person?

We go to the dentist to PREVENT problems. We go to the doctor because we want to AVOID being sick. So what role does therapy play?

Therapy connects your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical self together. Therapy helps you figure yourself out, helps answer some of the deepest questions about your life. Therapy helps you learn to love, to forgive, to believe in yourself, and to HEAL your childhood issues. Therapy raises your emotional intelligence and helps you become a better partner, parent, and person.

Someone who is in therapy and has done therapy is a good sign because it tells you that they cared enough about themselves to do something about it so they could become a better version of themselves.

So there you go, my friends! Therapy is for everyone. It's safe, it's private, non-judgmental, and it's all about you and your beliefs.

— Antonio Medina is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based out of McKinney, Texas.